Empty Eyes

You stare at them with your empty eyes,
These stupid plastic spheres in your cranium,
Everyone says they're "beautiful"...
But you know what lies beneath their aqua sheen,
Beyond the thick, shimmery powder and black, cracking, crumbling goo-lined rims,
You started wearing it when you were young,
To "make you pretty..."
Then you grew up and took a long look at your insides,
Realized it would never happen,
You'd never be pretty,
Not really...

Somewhere....
You lost hope,
& now you wear it to detract from the violent sorrow,
That lies at the base of your person,
And somehow, no matter what, shines through your eyes,
It's a vacancy that reaches deep into the pit of your soul,
That pulls and sucks like a fucking black hole,
You're eating everything in sight with this vacuum in your heart,

Heart...what heart?
You haven't had one of those in years...
The hole has eaten that too,
It's going to continue eating you alive,
Until there's nothing left of you,

Nothing...
Except those stupid, fucking spheres in your dome...
Oh well,
People can at least keep the most aesthetically pleasing aspect of you,
Your empty, empty eyes...

Sarah II

Your ruby lips parted in devious malice,
To reveal the shine of your pearlescent smile,
That had always reminded me of the handle,
Of an ivory knife that held tight to your tongue-blade,
That was used to slit his throat,
Leaving him sputtering and dying in your hands,

You tilt back your mineralized osseous tissue skull,
Barely covered by the duvet of your flesh,
That hangs like draperies from your clinking-clanking salt-white bones,
As that fat, lying toad flops from beyond your teeth cage,
Where it should always stay until the end,
As you cackle madly like an old fish-wife,

Your words slide deep into his veins,
The way the needle slid into yours moments ago,
Injecting a sugary sweet neurosis into your soul,
That would eventually seep from the pores on your skin,
Causing you to smell of failure and desperation,
When you begin to withdraw,

How is it, succubus, that you live with yourself?
Do your stardust irises glitter with such magick in the cracked reflections,
That it bewitches even you into believing that there is something,
Anything,
Left to love about you?
For if so - it lies...

Your vapid skull bleeds thoughts from your ears,
Flowing down your throat where hands should choke the life from you,
The way you choked the life from him,
When you wound your words around his veins,
& tugged with all the strength you could muster,
Leaving his innards strewn far beyond,
The pale, white flesh,
That had been severed from your own...

Trip Down Memory Lane

Crickets chanted our names in perfect unison,
The night we laid quiet as dead lovers in the dark,
Bleeding limbs sprawled like our drenched and soapy hair,
Wide and open across your pillowtop bed,
I am sure to the innocent passerbyer -
We looked like the corpses of octopus,
Tentacles winding in and around,
Twisting the remainder of life from our souls,
Our Klonopin & wine cocktail had proven to be,
Most destructive to us both,
& to the universe,
By the blood slathered across the bathroom floor,
& cold spaghetti in the pot,
You babbled incoherently to me in the black,
Mouth, nothing more than a flopping, snapping mandible,
& I, I was nothing more than an empty shell,
Between the pills and the bottles of sparkling white & red,
The edge of my vision decided to bend and blur,
Meshing everything into something and then nothing at all,
Ghosts chattered, demons scaled the walls,
& skeletons fell out of the closet,
I gripped onto something in the dark,
Once Wonderland turned evil,
& I, Alice, submerged deeper that night into my rabbit hole,
Than ever before,
Your breathing stilled to a steady, soft pace,
Mouth slightly ajar as you quickly fell into a deep, comatose sleep,
Or passed out,
Whichever,
I rolled to face the amethyst curtains,
Glowing from what I thought was the moonlight,
But maybe I was hallucinating again,
I made a mental note to take an extra Geodon when the sun came up,
Not that the medication ever did me any good,
Ah, yes, better than acid, this,
As if Satan himself had shoved a magic mushroom down our throats,
& we were on a rollercoaster trip that seemed like it would never end,


But I digress,
These roadtrips down memory lane come at the strangest times,
Like now, sitting here at my desk, in my job that I have actually managed to keep,
The job I never thought my once sick self would have,
With the man I never thought I would be worthy enough to find,
In the life I never thought I would appreciate,
But I guess,
That sometimes things twist just to suprise you,

The End...

I Remember

I remember when the
song of crickets had been silenced since
the fifteenth of September,
And the ground froze to a
shiny crunch in the dancing
beams of sunlight as the twilight
of the day evanesced into night,
I remember how your shy smile
crept onto your cheeks that looked
like a blooming rose of summer,
And how your olive eyes watched my
glossy mouth as it curled around the tip
of a snow-white cigarette,
I remember how your lips felt pressed
like curious fingertips of the blind - desperate
and trying to read the goosebumps of my skin like braille,
And how the bedroom always reeked
of our scents together, mixed like gin and tonic,
Or how you snaked yourself around my ligaments -
lips and hands smearing the sugary crystals of
moisture that had formed on my body as you
impaled me over and over,
I remember how I would have lied for you,
Died for you,
Given up anything for you,

Most of all, I think I remember
how when miles and winter crept
like branches of ivy between us...you were gone...

Rainy Afternoon

Her eyes stare vacantly out the window,

Twin sapphire orbs set back in a cradle of

mineralized osseous tissue,

As her hands splay like golden stars

amongst the sheets of satin,

Her line of vision dances from one raindrop

slicing through the cold air of late fall,

To another,

and another...


Suddenly, as if on cue,

the bed dips and sways like

the hips of a pair of lovers dancing,

Joints buckle, she cascades backwards,

The ribbons of her hair slither like

onyx snakes over the expanse of the

cloud beneath her,

His tongue slides like a fat, wet toad

across the pillow of her lips,

demanding entrance to the cave beyond



Musky, needy breath washes

over the organ of her skin,

Leaving the tiniest rows of goosebumps

to decorate her,

He wraps around her like recalcitrant

sheets wrap around the legs of one

in the early morning,

After all this time,

she's finally learned not to fight back,

For it is a useless effort,

Like trying to find a corner

on a round building,

Minutes pass like hours

until the ritual of lust is finally

completed,

Seeping the honey of his

desire,

She runs sweaty fingers through

her dark hair, pulling and tugging

at the knots he made with his

fists,

He returns to the technicolor

box of noise in the other room,

Satiated and content,

Like a fat swine after eating slop

and rolling in filth,

Her eyes go back to dancing from

raindrop to raindrop,

While the clock "tssssk's" in

disappointment of her complacent attitude

towards her life...

Overdose on Emptiness

"I'll take one cause I needed to feel it so much. I had an emotional crutch, but I'm feeling bored so I'll take some more cause nothing is happening..." - Hurt 'Overdose'

Her eyes are as empty as the winters sky,

Heart bound by a cage of snow,

Lips turned down in mild disgust,

She can't feel any more, you know?

Body once rapt with life and heat,

Now cold and limp in a chair,

Fingers brushing through the mess,

That once was her glistening hair,

She once was beautiful and glorious,

She once could feel, you see,

She once resonated life and light,

She once had a personality,

Back before the breakdowns,

Before the medications, too,

The little plastic deaths that come in all colors,

Red, Beige, White and Blue,

She takes them by the handfuls,

Just like the doctor said,

But she has a tendency to take too many,

Just to see if she'll wind up dead,

Yes Russian Roulette with a pill bottle,

It's become her favorite game,

Downs them all with a bottle of Jack,

And hopes to God she doesn't wake up ever again

Crazy

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light, now I'm bound by the life you left behind, your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams, your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me..." Evanescence "My Immortal"

Your tongue lashed out from between your razor teeth,

To latch itself into my sunlit mind & filling it with your venom,

Sending me into scatter-brained shock,

& my heart fell from it's hole in my chest to shatter onto the floor,

I stared at you with empty aquamarine irises,

The whites of my eyes laced with crimson spiderwebs and soaking tears,

Where there was once blaring silence, there is now your shrill screaming voice,

You are screaming at me again,

Then it happens, so quickly that the only thing I see is flesh, white flesh stretched taut over solid knuckle as the back of your hand meets with the side of my face,

My body bends with the will of your force, sideways, as I land face first on the ground,

Angered, I fly upward in pure, white hot momentum and plant my fist in the socket of your eye,

We meld into one violent, bloody creature, all hands and feet flying sideways and downward,

Teeth gnashing, hair pulled, fists landing in jaws, ribcages, nails scratching at throats,

A voice in the back of my head screams "More, give me more!"

We are wild dogs, mad animalistic, rage-filled beasts with only beautiful bloodshed in mind,

& this continues on until morning,

& then, when the sun rises and we have simmered down into nothingness you lean to me and say "I'll love you forever," and in my sickness I know that it's true

*This poem is still being worked on!