Sad

Your lips mouthed words, no louder than a gentle hush,

That floated on crisp, October air, the way a leaf falls to

chilled earth,

Signaling it's grotesquely beautiful demise...

I only wish I had known that your words would be the end of me....

You smiled - the most beautiful, lovely, precious smile I had ever seen,

Enrapt with the twirl of your wrist, the sparkle in your eyes, the scent of you,

I always loved falling in love, but, when you hit stone rock below,

You wonder why you didn't at least take a peek on the way down,

October saw our confluence,

November - I was so sick you couldn't leave my side,

I remember thinking that I would pay you back for your kindness,

I paid a heaftier price than I should have...

December - we smiled for cameras, snogged beneath mistletoe, made batches of warm, gooey baked things that stuck to your teeth and melted in your mouth, and...

January - it got colder and colder still...

February - you spent the night with me on my birthday at the home of my best friend,

only to turn around, and let me wander aimlessly the next day on yours

...You thanked me for not coming with you...and as those words floated as softly on the air as your "hello"...my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces.

March - March was horrid. The death threats, the wishing of my demise, telling me I was a big fat bitch, telling me I was nothing without you...that my family preferred you, that my beloved Kristie preferred you...

I almost believed you...almost...

April - Was the worst...

May- we bought an apartment in the hopes that we could start fresh. You swore you loved me. Really - you just finally realized how badly you had jaded me, I think.

June - there she was. Nothing like me, nothing like you. She made no sense. THIS made no sense. Why her? Why of all people - HER? She "made you feel loved" and you were "over me" and...

....and my heart broke....

I haven't remembered much since then.

The sound of my soul crashing into the dirt.

The tangy metallic scent of blood on the air.

The moment I realized that I would never see your smile again.

We would never be....anything...again....

Why?