Sunday, June 17, 2012

Beyond You

"Look at me, my depth perception must off again. Cuz this hurts deeper than I thought it did. It has not healed with time. It just shot down my spine. You look so wonderful tonight. Reminds me how you laid us down and gently smiled before you destroyed my life. Would you find it in your heart to make this go away and let me rest in pieces?"
- Saliva 'Rest in Pieces'

Did you ever think, love, that
you would have left me this way?
That you would have cracked the top of my
mind like an egg, sank your fingers within the
shard-like shell, and ripped me open til' my
yolky heart was oozing onto the floor?

I didn't...

I saw us happy, smiling in
pictures lined with white tulle and
sparkling dreams that sat upon my
finger, screaming to the rest of the world
that I was loved forevermore.

What lies I bought...

You ripped from me my sanity, my
humanity, my freedom, my soul...
and you managed to leave me in the night for
some belligerent shrew of a woman -
who didn't want you either in the end.

I hope you sit alone at night,
and remember that we could have been
wonderful together.

That we could have had it all...
Well...that you could have had it all - I still will.

Someday you're going to see me, walking
down the road somewhere, talking to someone
wonderful, with sparkling dreams on my finger
again - and I hope you remember, that it could have been

You wanted someone else, wanted someone happier
because you made me so sad that my smile wouldn't
glimmer anymore - it was shrouded with sorrow.
But when you see me - I will smile brighter than I ever have

I will be everything that I ever wanted to be
and everything that you would have never helped
me to become.

But moreover - I will be flawlessly loved.
Deeply, madly, truly, amazingly - and I
will glow with that love.

You dimmed my light so that yours would shine brighter
but now I am polishing you away from my skin.
Smoothing out my wrinkles, scrubbing off the dirt
from where you thrust me to the ground, smiled at me,
and wished me dead.

You'll be sorry, baby.
I'll see to that.

After all, my mother always said, "Living well is the best revenge."

Thursday, June 7, 2012

You must have smiled at her,
The smile I always thought was meant for me,
Must have laced your fingers into the web of her hair,
Must have poisoned her mind with your venomous lies,
You must have caressed her,
Palms splayed like stars,
Spanning the breadth of her skin,
Yes, yes...
You must have done all of those things,
When you smiled,
She must have smiled back,
Must have woven magic into your brain,
Must have smelled the way you always swore that I did,
Intoxicating you,
Bewitching you,
Did I not enchant you anymore, love?
Was I, once again, never good enough?
Did my eyes no longer hold beauty?
Did my smile no longer light up my face?
Did my hands feel cold?
Did my kiss feel numb?
Was I no longer the muse?
Or did I touch a place too painful in you?
Did I break the scab of a wound that gushed fear?
Did I get too close for comfort baby?
Since you were going to leave me for the ugliest whore on the corner,
I hope that I did...
I hope I broke something within your soul that can never be fixed,
For love,
You have done the very same to me...