I Remember

I remember when the
song of crickets had been silenced since
the fifteenth of September,
And the ground froze to a
shiny crunch in the dancing
beams of sunlight as the twilight
of the day evanesced into night,
I remember how your shy smile
crept onto your cheeks that looked
like a blooming rose of summer,
And how your olive eyes watched my
glossy mouth as it curled around the tip
of a snow-white cigarette,
I remember how your lips felt pressed
like curious fingertips of the blind - desperate
and trying to read the goosebumps of my skin like braille,
And how the bedroom always reeked
of our scents together, mixed like gin and tonic,
Or how you snaked yourself around my ligaments -
lips and hands smearing the sugary crystals of
moisture that had formed on my body as you
impaled me over and over,
I remember how I would have lied for you,
Died for you,
Given up anything for you,

Most of all, I think I remember
how when miles and winter crept
like branches of ivy between us...you were gone...

Rainy Afternoon

Her eyes stare vacantly out the window,

Twin sapphire orbs set back in a cradle of

mineralized osseous tissue,

As her hands splay like golden stars

amongst the sheets of satin,

Her line of vision dances from one raindrop

slicing through the cold air of late fall,

To another,

and another...


Suddenly, as if on cue,

the bed dips and sways like

the hips of a pair of lovers dancing,

Joints buckle, she cascades backwards,

The ribbons of her hair slither like

onyx snakes over the expanse of the

cloud beneath her,

His tongue slides like a fat, wet toad

across the pillow of her lips,

demanding entrance to the cave beyond



Musky, needy breath washes

over the organ of her skin,

Leaving the tiniest rows of goosebumps

to decorate her,

He wraps around her like recalcitrant

sheets wrap around the legs of one

in the early morning,

After all this time,

she's finally learned not to fight back,

For it is a useless effort,

Like trying to find a corner

on a round building,

Minutes pass like hours

until the ritual of lust is finally

completed,

Seeping the honey of his

desire,

She runs sweaty fingers through

her dark hair, pulling and tugging

at the knots he made with his

fists,

He returns to the technicolor

box of noise in the other room,

Satiated and content,

Like a fat swine after eating slop

and rolling in filth,

Her eyes go back to dancing from

raindrop to raindrop,

While the clock "tssssk's" in

disappointment of her complacent attitude

towards her life...

Overdose on Emptiness

"I'll take one cause I needed to feel it so much. I had an emotional crutch, but I'm feeling bored so I'll take some more cause nothing is happening..." - Hurt 'Overdose'

Her eyes are as empty as the winters sky,

Heart bound by a cage of snow,

Lips turned down in mild disgust,

She can't feel any more, you know?

Body once rapt with life and heat,

Now cold and limp in a chair,

Fingers brushing through the mess,

That once was her glistening hair,

She once was beautiful and glorious,

She once could feel, you see,

She once resonated life and light,

She once had a personality,

Back before the breakdowns,

Before the medications, too,

The little plastic deaths that come in all colors,

Red, Beige, White and Blue,

She takes them by the handfuls,

Just like the doctor said,

But she has a tendency to take too many,

Just to see if she'll wind up dead,

Yes Russian Roulette with a pill bottle,

It's become her favorite game,

Downs them all with a bottle of Jack,

And hopes to God she doesn't wake up ever again

Crazy

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light, now I'm bound by the life you left behind, your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams, your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me..." Evanescence "My Immortal"

Your tongue lashed out from between your razor teeth,

To latch itself into my sunlit mind & filling it with your venom,

Sending me into scatter-brained shock,

& my heart fell from it's hole in my chest to shatter onto the floor,

I stared at you with empty aquamarine irises,

The whites of my eyes laced with crimson spiderwebs and soaking tears,

Where there was once blaring silence, there is now your shrill screaming voice,

You are screaming at me again,

Then it happens, so quickly that the only thing I see is flesh, white flesh stretched taut over solid knuckle as the back of your hand meets with the side of my face,

My body bends with the will of your force, sideways, as I land face first on the ground,

Angered, I fly upward in pure, white hot momentum and plant my fist in the socket of your eye,

We meld into one violent, bloody creature, all hands and feet flying sideways and downward,

Teeth gnashing, hair pulled, fists landing in jaws, ribcages, nails scratching at throats,

A voice in the back of my head screams "More, give me more!"

We are wild dogs, mad animalistic, rage-filled beasts with only beautiful bloodshed in mind,

& this continues on until morning,

& then, when the sun rises and we have simmered down into nothingness you lean to me and say "I'll love you forever," and in my sickness I know that it's true

*This poem is still being worked on!

My Immortal

"I'm so tired of being here, supressed by all of my childish fears, & if you have to leave then I wish that you would just leave, your presence still lingers here & it wont leave me alone"

-Evanescence "My Immortal"

My heart it grieves for you,

Beneath a blood stained moon I breathe in sickly sweet air,

That infiltrates my senses, causing me to become hazy with delirium,

I place the razor to my wrists and carve your name into my pale white flesh,

& wonder to myself absent-mindedly exactly where you went in this grand world so large and unpredictable,

I think to myself silently that I miss your eyes and how they would stare right down into my soul,

Your hands and how they would roam over the expanse of my skin, leaving the tiniest goosebumps in their wake,

Your voice and how it would soothe me, bring my crazed brain and emotions back down to a realm of sanity,

& then how your voice drove the sanity straight from my soul altogether,

In general, I find it safe to say, I miss you...I miss who you were long ago and far away, once upon a time,

I grieve for the kindhearted, sugary-eyed, lovesick for me boy that I fell in love and pure primal lust with four years ago,

The one who broke his arm because he got so wrapped up in thinking of me that he fell off of a brick wall,

That wrote me love letters, love poems, sent me love songs and got me through the roughest time of my life to date,

I miss my friend...

My heart & soul confided in you, I felt safe with you, I felt content with you, & then you changed,

& now I don't know who you are anymore & I hate it,

I'd give anything to have you back,

But of course I can't have you back because you're gone...

"& though you're still with me, I've been alone all along..."

-Evanescence "My Immortal"