Sunday, December 16, 2012

I Am More

I am more
than the sum of my parts,
More than the heart
that beats cold inside my chest,
More than the lungs that breathe the stale air
known simply, as existence,
More than these fingers
that trace outlines on canvas,
paper, flesh, surfaces raw and
carved out, begging to be touched,
I am more,

I am more
than the scars that you've left,
Printed like the ink upon a newspaper,
Smeared and smudged when caressed by skin,
More than the brokenness that resides
perpetually in my mind,
More than the voices that taunt,
haunt & flaunt their superiority
to me at night - laying all of my
failures past before me like photographs
left over from another life,
I am more,

I am more
than the smile on my face,
Be it real or fake,
More than the breath's I take,
More than the mistakes I make,
I am more,

I am more
than the dreams I dream,
More than the songs that I sing
lost hopelessly in the melody
& tumbling over words - off cue,
More than the days I starved,
More than the times I have carved
with a blade, my sadness - forever
in my epidermis,
More than the heartbreaks that
nearly broke me down for good,
I am more

I am more
than the paintbrush in my hand,
Swirling over surfaces prepped with
Guesso - colors blending and bleeding
into something beautiful in my soul,
More than the words I write,
or type, in the night,
hoping to expunge some
of the impulsive pressure that
builds forever in my soul,
Leaving me - a state of desperate
that I pray you never know - curled
fetally in a corner,
I am more

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,
Makes you run harder, faster, longer,
Makes you sweat blood,
Makes you afraid,
Makes you sad, lonely, pale,
But from all of that - you still become more
For with every ounce of the old you
that you lose, whether you
choose to or not,
you replace it with a piece of steel
that can never be ripped from
your humanity again,
You become forged in
a fire that burns eternally,
Hotter with every passing day,
Until one day you are pure gold,
Never dull or filthy again,
But rather - bright and gleaming
in the light,
Because you have become



  1. i am hoping my insides look like dali...
    i think we are def more than our scars...and its a cool thought we are more than our dreams as well...while what does not kill us might make us stronger, there are def things i would rather not have first hand experience at...and rather learn in the form of community as we share our stories and challenges....

    1. I agree - there are things that I would have loved to have completely skipped in my life - but I figure since I cannot go back and erase them from myself or my memory - I may as well try to filter them and turn them into a form of knowledge and progress. Otherwise, I don't think I will ever learn to grow as a human. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond :)

    2. no i agree...i was meaning more as we move into the future...experience is a hard teacher and i can learn from others i will...

      and no sweat...i hope you have the same opportunity

  2. I am more
    than the sum of my parts,

    that line hooked me.. it led me through the rest of the poem...

  3. Yes, we are more......thankfully, we continue to rise, after every heartbreak. The lines that saddened me most were the ones about the blade making tracks on one's skin. When the pain within needs to be eased externally. That is deep suffering.

  4. very, very nice... & i like how the poem itself - the building upon early foundations, the truths built upon truths built upon truths - expands the theme, the ever-more-ness of I Am

  5. Thank you all very much for taking the time to read and respond. :) I appreciate the feedback. :)

  6. this is really beautiful. very well penned.. it flows well, it pulls you in, and anyone can relate to it, i think. hooked me :)

  7. so beautiful.... indeed we are all more than what can be seen by the eyes of others, more than our flesh, far more than our wounds... I love the way your poem builds energetically and ends with pure energy... light.

  8. Such a pleasure to read this! I am glad I got here.....

    balance it out

  9. We are more I think--there is an urgency and longing here for me that is hard to resist

  10. I kept looking for the craziness or the darkness but found everything perfectly real. But then I'm insane and diagnosed as you.