Saturday, September 11, 2010

"I miss my friend, the one my heart and soul confided in. The one I felt the safest with, the one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again, let the light back in, I miss my friend..."

I hate how much I miss you.
I hate how I dream of you.
I hate how I can't stop thinking of you.
I hate how it seems like I've fucked up another good thing in my life.
I hate how much of a failure I am.
I hate how I can't help but glance at every single red car that goes by, because, in my mind it could be you coming back to me.
I hate how I still hope with the last bit of me that you will come back to me, someday.
I hate how my hope just wont die and leave me be with this pain.
I hate that your Mother hates me.
I hate how you listen to your Mother.
I hate how attached to you I am.
I hate how I can never just let you go.
I hate how you always end up going away just when I thought you were coming back for good this time....
I hate how every minute that passes, you are not in it....
I hate how I've loved you since 2006 and still can't seem to hold onto you.
I hate how much I miss you.
I hate how much I love you.
I hate how you didn't fight for me.
I hate how it seems as though you lied to me.
I hate how far away you always were.
I hate how this little, tiny, microscopic piece of me still hopes beyond reason, that one day, I'm going to come home and there you'll be, waiting for me, to say you still love me.
I hate how weak I am.
I hate how weak you are.
I hate everything.
But most of all...
I hate how you are gone.

1 comment:

  1. Don't be a hater, lol. No, seriously! He is a dumb fuck if he cannot see what a wonderful person you are. I know it is cliche but it is truly his loss. You are an amazing person and an even more amazing friend. You know I am always here for you, right? Well, in case you forgot, this is me reminding you, k! Keep your head up girlie. ILY <3 KK