Saturday, October 16, 2010


You're standing at my bed again,
Whispering things I shouldn't listen to,
Telling me I should slit my wrist,
Saying it's something I must do,
You want to crawl inside my shell,
Once I am dead and gone,
Pick right up where I left off,
Inhabit my body once I'm gone,
You chatter on until morning light,
And I am drenched in tears,
You softly caress my swollen cheek,
Tell me to be silent so no one hears,
The sun is peeking through the trees,
Far off in the distant land,
I feel as though you've been here for moments,
In an hourglass, just drops of sand,
I get my children off to school,
You watch me from the shadowy place,
I can see you, you can see me,
Nothing is quite in place,
Once my family is gone for the day,
You come back to talk to me,
One perfectly placed slice is all you need,
Then you'll let me be,
I'm tired of your chatter,
Tired of your endless hounding,
The idea of being away from you,
Becomes better and better sounding,
So I make my trip to Walgreens,
Buy the little silver squares,
Wondering all the while why I'm doing this,
I guess because no one cares,
I tell them that you harass me,
Tell them I'm a little bit unwell,
But they just smile and nod again,
Say I'm doing better than I can tell,
The water in the bathtub,
Is starting to fill up high,
If I can't beat you at your senseless game,
I'll fly off into the sky,
Where you can never touch me,
Can't pester me anymore,
Can't tell me that I'm useless,
Can't call me a filthy whore,
The bubbles look so enticing,
The candles lit set the perfect atmosphere,
I guess this was my destiny,
In a way it was always clear,
That I am not meant to be here really,
The madness was my warning,
Now you've come to take me over,
I'm giving up this morning,
Going to let you have your way with me,
Going to let you finish me off,
No more telling my therapist of my hallucinations,
While behind her desk she scoffs,
The water is so soothing,
The blade is clean and sharp,
In my note I told them,
That I've died from a broken heart,
And a broken down mind,
So worn, but they'll never really know,
They never really wanted to accept it,
So I guess it's time to go,
The tip of the blade touches my wrist,
I press and watch it gape,
Hope to God I'll be forgiven,
And go to a better place,
I didn't know there would be such blood,
The water slowly turns red,
You're sitting on the side of the tub,
You simply nod your head,
I think the water is relaxing,
I'm slowly falling asleep,
Everything goes quiet,
As my wound continues to seep,
The blackness is all consuming,
Like the madness, I tried to hide it,
But now you're finally silent,
And I admit, I really like it


  1. I wish this wasn't true, but I know it all to well. When the voices are so real and no one understands or even believes. I wish I could tell you it will get better and all this will go away, but mental illness is a chronic disabling disease some of us know way to intimately. You know I am always here for you. As long as I am breathing I will be here for you. Don't ever think you cannot tell me. You are the best friend and sister anyone could ever have. I am very blessed!

  2. Awwww, this made me cry! I love you! <3